an amazing privilege

A dear friend of mine posted a status update on Facebook today. She mentioned losing a few of her friends over the past few weeks. One of which she sat with as the friend passed on to heaven. What an amazing person to be at death's door with a friend. It brought to mind something I've been meaning to share but just hadn't done so yet. I guess I was just waiting for the right time.

When my Dad was sick, eventually we knew he wasn't going to live here on this earth much longer. We resigned ourselves (with much emotion) that we were on our way to saying our good-byes. While Dad was still at home in his bed, sometimes I would just go and sit with him to give my mom some much needed respite. I would spend a night or two also, so that my mom could sleep without worrying about him trying to get out of bed. He had the determination, he simply no longer had the strength.

During these times, I feared that I might be the one who was with him when he died. I even voiced it out loud to my Mom that I had no desire to be there when that happened. Perhaps I was worried that it would make death too real. Or bring me face to face with "the other side." I don't know exactly why, but it left me a bit creeped out to even think about it. 

My Dad ended up in a hospice house. It was a beautiful place. If I'm not mistaken, my Dad was there about 10 days. My husband and I spent Easter Sunday there with my Mom. My Dad was mostly incoherent. We went to a brunch that they were serving. It was April 8th.

On April 9th, in the evening, I called one of my brothers and asked that he go with me to go visit Dad. It was an urge I had to follow. He drove me the 40 minutes it took to get there. My Mom was there, she rarely left as we knew he was nearing the end. 

My brother and I sat on opposite sides of my Dad as his breathing slowed. At one point, my Mom left to get a nurse because there was so much time between breaths. She walked out of the room and my brother and I watched my Dad's chest. It stopped. It didn't start again. 

After a pause my brother looked at me and said, "He's gone." 

I started to cry. My brother told me, "Right now, Dad is up in heaven getting his crown." 

At that moment, I was given a little glimpse of what heaven will be like. I felt like I was at the back of a crowd, a crowd that was cheering loudly and joyfully for the man who had just arrived and was getting his crown of jewels. 

My Mom says when she walked into the room, I was sobbing with the biggest smile on my face. The emotion that I was feeling was truly out of this world. A mix of earthly sorrow and heavenly joy.

What a gift!

What a privelege.

(Even as I write this, I can feel my breath being caught up in my chest - you ever had that feeling?!)

God knew what He was doing when He prodded me to go visit Dad. He wanted me to experience the privelege of having a dear saint pass from this earth to God's incredible heaven. It was the most beautiful experience I have ever had. 

I was standing at heaven's door. And it was amazing.

KC

(Found this just this afternoon in a drawer somewhere, after I had decided to write this post. That's my Dad.)