Tuesday, April 1, 2014

words of friends

Sometimes this mommy life gets me so stressed! But over and over the words and encouragement of friends and fellow mommies who have been there, and done that pop into my head exactly when I need them.

Sometimes the advice comes from older moms who are now grandmas who have years of experience in this whole parenting world. Plus, they have the advantage of hindsight: being able to look back and see what they would do differently or what choices ended up being perfect for their children's lives. Invaluable.

Sometimes the advice is from mommies who are walking a few years ahead of you who still remember the challenges of potty-training because they did it last year. Or how they taught their 4 year old to tie his shoe. Or how they are juggling life as a mom to 3 kids under the age of 5.  Their advantage is that they haven't forgotten all the details and the range of emotions that you are going through because it hasn't been that long since they were right there!

Then there are the mommies who are walking right next to you, in the same stage as you. And you know what is best about them? Commiserating!! Being able to lean on a shoulder that is going through exactly what you are going through. "I understand why you feel like crying!" "I get why you are so exhausted!" "I feel like locking myself in the closet too!"

And then there are the wisdom-filled books and blogs. The advice on Pinterest. The well-meaning stranger at the coffee shop. The dad (often a totally different perspective but valid and helpful, nonetheless!) The teacher who sees a different side of your child and has years of experience working with kids.  The children's pastor at church. Oh goodness! Nuggets of wisdom everywhere!

And just how to you decide which advice to take and apply? Well, you look at your family, you look at your kiddo(s), you look at yourself and then you figure out what will work best with what you've got.  

(Personally, whenever possible, I try to check all advice I get against the Bible.  It's a pretty good standard to live by!)

In the 8+ years I've been a mommy, words from friends have helped guide me (and kept me sane!) From basking in the kisses of my 5 year old son because "they grow up too fast!" to intimate conversations with my daughter as I "try to reach her heart."  Locking myself in the closet because I remember the story of the mom who used to climb in the Pack-n-Play when she needed a break (and all the kids knew not to bug her when she was in it!) Remembering that children "go through phases" and "this too shall pass!"  Being a good example in front of my children because they will "listen more carefully to your actions than your words."  And remembering to tell my children frequently that I love them so that they might never doubt it.

Thank you, friends, for the words that have made mommyhood surviveable.

KC

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