glory out of a mess

I'm a mess. Full of imperfections. I fall short all the time. This heart of mine isn't white. There are spots all over it. My decisions, my choices are not always made with the best intentions. I'm selfish. I'm weak. I don't always listen to His promptings. I fall into temptation. (Goodness, it's no fun to list your own short comings so I'm going to go ahead and stop right there!)

But. All that doesn't matter when it comes to God. He's going to use me despite my garbage. I gave my gifts to Him so He can take them and use them for what He wants. Because if I try to take those gifts and make them something great, as you can see from the previous paragraph, I'm going to fail. 

So if you ever see anything wonderful come from me, it is not of me. It is of God. Let me use this blog as an example. (I've told this story to a few of you so I'm sorry if you've already heard it). 

Most times when I write my blog, I am exhausted, probably because I wait to write it until it is super late at night. There are times when I fall asleep in the middle of writing it. I wake up, shake my head, and finish writing it. Then I proofread it with my eyes slowly drooping with very long blinks (which is why there are so many little errors). I try to come up with a strong finishing line to each blog. And then I try to make my brain function enough to create an appropriate short title and a catchy tag line for when I post it on Facebook and Twitter. 

When I wake up in the morning, sometimes I don't even remember what I have written the night before. I have to go back and read it to refresh my memory. And when I read it, sometimes I am amazed at how well everything came together in the midst of my exhaustion. When that happens, that is when I know I had little to nothing to do with it - it was all God.

And that's what I'm talking about. I am a mess. I can't take any glory but I can direct it to the God who works through me despite my weakness and does great things. 

KC