I remembering being in 4th grade and having a terribly hurtful experience. It felt as if the whole class was trying to trick me into thinking that a popular boy actually liked me. I was shy and I was naive. I ended up being made out to be a fool. Baggage: I withdrew further into my shell, thinking no one liked me.
I was a thin gal in Jr. High and high school. I had knobby knees (well, I thought I did). I had no figure (unless you consider "stick" a body shape!) I was bony. I dressed a bit like a tom boy. No reason to wear fitted clothing when there was nothing for it to fit on! I was constantly being called skinny. Baggage: unattractive. Who's going to like a girl who doesn't look like a girl? Which leads into the next one:
In high school, I don't recall a single guy expressing any interest in me until I was a senior. And even he had to convince me! And after dating him for 3 years (thinking I was going to marry him), he broke up with me amd never gave me a reason. To this day, I have guesses, but no reason as to why. Baggage: not worthy. I gave 3 years of my life to this person and I wasn't worthy for even an explanation.
In the past I've mentioned my years of piano lessons and recitals and even a few competitions. For my recitals I put hours of practice into 7, 8, even 12 page pieces that I would memorize. And after that much work, the pressure to perform perfectly was great. On the day of the performance, I would be sick to my stomach. I wouldn't eat anything, even if the performance wasn't until the afternoon! It was a day that I dreaded. Baggage: no desire to use my gift. For a long time, I did nothing with my gift of playing piano.
In high school, I experienced an anxiety disorder that elicited panic attacks and this plagued me for probably close to 7 years. If you've never experienced a panic attack, do not judge someone who has. It is extremely frightening and they generally have no control over when it happens. The disorder changed the way I lived my life. Essentially, I lived in fear of when it would happen and how in the world I would handle the next attack. Baggage: lack of control. I changed my lifestyle to compensate for the attacks. I missed out on so many opportunities because it was safer to say no than risk having an attack.
Each of these things seem small. One little thing to try and work through. But if you add them all up and stuff each one into a suitcase, that suitcase is going to exceed the 50 lb limit by far! And that gets heavy. You gotta unpack that suitcase!
But as you pull each piece out of your baggage, God reveals how each has shaped you, for good or for bad. And then you decide: take the past and let it drag you down? Blame everyone else for who you have become? Or hand that baggage over to God and let Him sort it out. Because God is awesome at that: taking something ugly and making it beautiful.
KC
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